Hi all. It’s been almost a year since we kicked off Dagger Dames and most of that time we’ve been away from the table – and you deserve to know why.
In the fall, Rishara, our Katari druid played by Karen, had to call out because of a cough. The cough persisted and we decided to restart in the new year.
Before Thanksgiving, Karen sent me messages from the hospital ending with some of her test results. She asked me to tell the Dames that she had stage 4 lung cancer that has metastasized to her liver. She began chemotherapy treatment and after her first round, everything had shrunk and things were looking positive.
Karen and I had purchased VIP tickets to Echoes of Exandria in Atlanta, the live Critical Role show here on May 26. The news in February, after her first round of treatment, was great and we continued to work on our cosplay (she was going as Lieve’tel Toluse and me as Ioun, the Knowing Mistress). She started another round of treatment as the spring started.
The end of May is a busy time in Atlanta. School gets out for the year, Memorial Day, and MoMoCon. Add to that the Critical Role crew being at the Con and doing a live show, it was very hectic for Critters.
The week before MomoCon, Karen and I talked about the results after her next round of chemo. It wasn’t good. Everything had grown. The cancer was in her brain, liver, lungs, and bones. The week of Momo, I talked her into foregoing the cosplay (I didn’t want her carrying the weight of a costume nor the stress and fuss of it) and getting a hotel room near the venue of the show. She said her doctors had suggested talking to her family about end-of-life planning. Because I am arranging my mother’s estate, I gave her some tips. She told me that it wasn’t for now, just to have in mind. There were other treatment options. It was going to be okay.
Saturday she wrote to tell me that she was back in the hospital and would not be able to make the show.
Monday before the show, her daughter texted to tell me that they were sending Karen home on hospice as there was nothing else to be done.
I went to the show and felt like she was sitting on my shoulders. If you are a Critter, like Daggerheart, or both, you should watch the show.
The next morning I had to go to Michigan to be with family. As the drive started out, Karen’s daughter wrote to tell me that her mom was not able to go home and “it” would happen in the hospital.
It did.
I got a text at 1:07 pm saying she had left us.
Karen became one of my closest friends in the last 5 years as I was her DM over 3 campaigns. Our daughters are engaged and I get to be here to see my daughter be a bride. I am doing everything I can to be an Auntie for Karen’s children.
There is a lot of emotion that we’re processing.
Her health was the first challenge.
And now we are navigating our emotions.
In the coming weeks, I am going to talk about Karen. I am also going to talk to Holly, the 3rd of our trio about the evolution of our party.
I know no one wants to talk to smokers about not smoking. Quitting smoking is one of the hardest things to do. But, friends, saying goodbye to friends hurts.
Having to help a friend’s child as she gets married hurts.
Sucks.
Nat 1.
We’re going to lick our wounds for another couple weeks. And then we’re going to get back to the table.
When Karen told us she was sick, she said, “I think you’re gonna have to kill Rishara”.
And we refused.
I continue to refuse.
Stay tuned to find the ways Rishara impacts our story.
And, if you smoke, please try stopping. If you love a smoker, ask them to quit and keep asking. A site that may be being overlooked by our current administration is https://smokefree.gov/ Use it while you can.
Let’s keep rolling.
And let’s never stop forgetting.
Love you all.